Football: A Big piece of my Heart

How do I even begin to talk about something that pulls my heartstrings in so many different directions with the biggest two being in polar opposite directions?  Varsity football.  Last year, I had so many hopes and dreams attached to football and Tobin I thought my heart was going to burst!  And then what happened happened and my heart broke!  So, this year I really wasn’t sure how I was feeling.  But ultimately knew I would know when I got there and the weeks happened.  We are 4 weeks into football and I am sad to say, that it doesn’t hold the same excitement for me and that makes me really sad.  I can only say that football broke my heart and made me ache the most I have ever ached for Tobin.  Even when Tobin was in the hospital with pneumonia, in my mind there was no question that he wasn’t going to get better.  I just knew he was and that was that.  He was too little to verbalize his feelings or that may have been my undoing, but as it was it was a huge protection to me.  And when I sat with him each day in that hospital and sang to him, read to him, encouraged him to walk, fed him, and watched the healing medicine dripping into his body intravenously, I knew he was getting better.  But football, football…is different.  It hurts Tobin in places I can’t kiss away!  And that kills me as a mom! 

So, it leaves me with this lofty idea that I should be excited for football; its senior year.  I want to be excited for varsity games.  I sit and watch all of these varsity moms who have that same excitement I had last year and it makes me sad.  Tobin is having his own personal struggles with football and finding his way.  He hasn’t found his niche yet.  I think that when I feel Tobin has found his way then I will make my peace with football.  Tobin is in such a weird position.  He is playing receiver this year. He plays with other receivers that have been playing that position since their sophomore or junior year on varsity, and they have D1 offers; how do you compete with that?  Because they pulled Tobin last year to play Qb, he doesn’t have the experience of the other guys.  He finds himself not on the starting team, but too good to be on the second string team because of his hard work and natural ability.

And now M is hurt!  That really comes as no surprise as he hasn’t made it through one season yet!  I love M, but what I want for Tobin contradicts what would be best for M.  If M were out, would Tobin be in?  I don’t know.  But really shouldn’t they see the writing on the wall?  If you have your eye set on states, and you have a qb with a history of injury shouldn’t they be prepping the next qb to step up? And which one do you chose?  I will never ever agree that they made the right choice last year in pulling Tobin from the qb position!  He would have grown by leaps and bounds so that when they got to that final game of states last year and it came down to a passing game Tobin would have thrown the touchdown pass to win the game!  Because he would have built up to that with all season to prepare!! 
I guess I will just have to take one game at a time!

Ben, Bradley and Tobin!!

Noah is going to have a completely different experience with football.  Part of Noah’s ease with football is that there isn’t only one person in his position on the field at a time.  He is a linebacker; there are three of them.  In fact right now, probably in the history of church or QO, this is the only time all 3 linebackers have been Mormon!! The Mormon Brigade!  Noah is a beast on the football field.  He has so much potential for doing well.  He has worked hard being on the middle school team two years in a row. 

Knowing that Noah played qb on the middle school team last year made us nervous for this year.  Were they going to make Noah quarterback?  If they did, would he practice all week and then not play if Carson hadn't played in the varsity game?  We had already sacrificed one child to the politics of those guiding the program, I wasn't going to let them do another.  That may sound harsh, but in my darkest moments that is how I see it.  I couldn't let it be done again.  So, we made it clear we didn't want that for Noah.  He should play defense.  I honestly don't know how much we influenced the decision, but I am so grateful that he is not in that position.  

Noah has been playing linebacker!  And he is having a blast.  He is working hard at practice everyday and learning the nuances of the position.  He also begins the game with the kick-off.  He does a great job, but on the extra point he kicks to the left and needs to learn to correct that.  I love that Noah celebrates the good during the game and seems to be able to move on if he makes a mistake.  He clearly is in his element with football.  

Our JV hasn't looked so great!  Our first scrimmage was rough.  We looked scared and didn't execute well.  Our second scrimmage we looked better, but still a little young and inexperienced.  But at our first real game, the one against Damascus, we looked....pretty good!  We had clearly improved.  And although we lost 21-14, I know that if we saw Damascus later in the season, we would win.  Noah came out tentative and little, if that makes sense.  But in the second half Noah began to show his true self- he rocked it.  He was making his tackles, he was executing his plays.  He was a play-maker.  And today in the Magruder game, Noah was on fire!  He surely showed up to play today!  He is a force to be reckoned with.  I can't wait to watch Noah not only this season, but for the next three years.