Every 15 Minutes

On the way to the retreat!  Tobin is in the way back of the bus.

Every 15 minutes in the United States someone dies from drunk driving.  Tobin applied and was chosen to participate in a program called "Every 15 Minutes" to raise awareness of drunk driving and poor decision making.  Tobin was so happy to be selected.  I only had to sign a permission slip and write his obituary for him.  That was really hard for me.  I was so hesitant to write it down.  I realized this past fall that I was a little bit superstitious when I wanted/needed to get my nails done the same way so that the football team would win (stupid, I know), but yet I found myself doing it every week.  So, can you imagine me having to write Tobin's obituary?  I sat for a long time with the paper in front of me and stared at it.  I simply sat not writing.  And then when I guess I was ready, I picked up my pen and began to write about Tobin's life so far.
     Then one night, on a Wednesday night Tobin began packing for an overnight trip.  I knew he was going to be gone overnight, but then I realized he was going to have no contact with us and that was hard to take.  But he was doing it.  He left for school, but not before I gave him a big hug.  And of course we got into a little tiff because I reminded him he might need to give up his phone and he was adamant he wasn't going to do it!  Why didn't I let the school worry about that?  I had only wanted to go in and say "I love you" and I left with such an unsettled feeling. 
     "Death" came for Tobin sixth period.  They painted his face white with a little red to represent his accident.  After school, they went by bus to where outdoor ed was is held.  They had guest speakers come and talk to them.  Then they had a candlelight vigil where as their obituary was read, they turned out their candle to darkness.  That was very powerful.  Tobin said hearing his own obituary was something he wasn't ready for.  To hear your life represented by 100 words was to minimize his life.  He didn't like that feeling that he wasn't done living.  However, when his friends' obits were read, he lost it and got teary. 
     After that they all went back to their cabins and wrote a letter to the significant people in their lives.  Tobin chose to write his letter to his friends.  Most of the participants were writing to their parents and he wanted a different perspective.  He wrote to:  Ben, Bradley, Andrew, Colin, and Mikey.  Back at school the next day there was a school wide assembly.  Tobin had been asked to read his letter aloud.   I am so sorry I missed it.  From what I hear, Tobin's letter was incredibly powerful and touched a lot of people.  The assembly was the culminating activity.  I don't think that Tobin will ever drink and drive.  This was a very powerful experience for him.  Here is Tobin's letter:





An aside:  I was sitting at work on Friday thinking that this would experience would make a great college application essay for Tobin to write about.  When I texted him asking him how it was, he replied, "It was incredible.  There are no words."  Too funny, and there goes that idea.